Discovering God's Grace in Depression

A Personal Story of God's Intimate Love and Sufficiency

About the Book

Heidi was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2003. Suddenly, she felt crushed under the deepest despair she had ever known. Devastated, she found that everything that functioned so well before, including her faith, simply didn’t in depression. The numbness and sadness tormented her mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. She felt abandoned, judged and rejected by God and others. No longer able to feel the sweet fellowship of her Savior, she felt incapable of pleasing Him the way she thought a Christian should and was afraid that God might even be angry with her. Feeling lost in an endless sea of shame, judgment, confusion, anger, fear and grief, how could she live this way?

For 12 years, as she daily wet her pillow with tears of pain, loneliness, unacceptability and feeling unloved, God graciously demonstrated His mercy and compassion to her. He showed her how to reconcile her faith with her illness by rebuilding her from the inside out with a faith that worked, even in depression. Far from offering a book of formulas, Heidi’s honest, intimate storytelling will thoughtfully walk you through her journey from utter brokenness to spiritual peace and emotional relief. He showed her a way to bear up under the incapacitating effects of depression and soothed away her “not-good-enough” woeful laments.

If you suffer from depression, this book is specifically for you. Heidi lovingly, passionately and exhaustively addresses the worst of your symptoms and offers you a biblical way to reconcile your faith with your affliction.

Family, friends, pastors and churches also need this book. As much as many want to minister to the depressed, for the most part, they do not know how to ease their suffering. Let Heidi be their voice, telling you things they could never say themselves, helping you better understand the wounded hearts of those who need to feel loved.

This book is an eye-opening call to embrace grace for yourself! It is also a call to teach biblical, grace-saturated, gospel principles in order to more effectively minister to these whom Jesus calls us to show mercy. As a bonus, the book is packed with practical and spiritual suggestions to offer you and loved ones additional support.

Discovering God’s Grace in Depression is honest, intuitive, insightful and without clicheic answers. God’s amazing grace changes everything!

Foundational Truth #12

God is okay with our brokenness. My brokenness and yours is why Jesus came to earth. He died for my sins so He could past my brokenness in love. Because of this, some of us who have felt like utter failures have found more freedom in Christ in our brokenness than we ever felt while trying to find fulfillment in our successes. It is because it was through our brokenness that God became so tender and real to us.

Foundational Truth #11

“I had to accept that God never promised me explanations and He didn’t have to answer to me. But as long as His presence didn’t condemn me, His presence was the only thing that could comfort me.”

Music Playlists: The Conclusion of My Story (Section Five)

Section Five (only 3 chapters) describes specifically how God healed me and how my journey with depression changed me. I discovered hope and peace when I embraced the God of grace and mercy and I will be forever grateful. I long for you to find this same hope and peace in the gracious, tender eyes of your Savior.

Music Playlists: Rebuilding My Foundation (Section Four)

“Section 4 describes how God rebuilt my faulty foundation by revealing to me an accurate view of God, an accurate view of myself, a sinner, and gospel-saturated principles of God’s mercy and grace, which finally worked in my depression.”

Music Playlists: Foundations (Section Three)

“Paul warns us that each man must be careful about the foundations on which he builds his life. Unfortunately, as my story continues, I will describe how I discovered some pretty faulty foundations.”

Music Playlists: Understanding Depression (Section Two)

The second section of my book is entitled: “Understanding Depression.” It exhaustively walks you through the symptoms of depressive illness. Many of these symptoms are so hard to describe to outsiders, as they reach deep into the psyche, and take what appears to be one thing on the surface, but in reality is something so much worse, that even bringing it up makes the sufferer feel even more broken. Delving a bit deeper, you will discover that what you initially believed wasn’t all that bad is so much worse than you ever dreamed. This section is written primarily for those who are new to the topic of depression, for loved ones, for friends and for spiritual leaders of the depressed. This post is an accompaniment resource for the eight chapters in Section Two.

Music Playlists: My Story Begins (Section One)

Ch 1-5: This was music that helped me live honestly, as I wrestled with the Lord, with His Word, with how I was supposed to live with my broken mind, about new paradigms that God was just whetting my appetite for, and so on.

Foundational Truth #10

God is merciful to us. It is His desire to show us mercy. “When you are in the throes of defeat and you see hopelessness all around, turn to your loving heavenly Father in humility and admit your need. Run towards Him and jump into His merciful arms. This is a promise that you can take to the bank: He will be merciful to you, too!”

Foundational Truth #9

If and when God declares it to be so, God will heal. Until then, we wait for Him to heal us or we wait to experience ultimate healing in the presence of Jesus.

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